


Woe

by flinchflower



Series: Slash Me Twice [99]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels, Demons, Ghosts, M/M, Near Death Experiences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-14
Updated: 2013-11-14
Packaged: 2018-01-01 10:45:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1043887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flinchflower/pseuds/flinchflower
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt 99: Map.   The S2 finale continues in all it's rewritten glory.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Woe

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Not for profit, simply a writing exercise. Herein lies Dean/Sam slash, in an AU timeline where John did not lose his life. John appears in parental context only.
> 
> Warning: Commencing the re-write of the S2 finale...

Sam’s relief at seeing his brother, fine and whole, and Bobby with him, it didn’t hold up to any measure. And neither did the pain thirty seconds later, either. Dean’s arms are around him, and he wants to comfort his brother, but there’s a huge weight pressing his consciousness down, and then nothing for long moments. He’s aware of his brother’s distress, and it hurts, hurts to slip away like that without a word, but there’s just no help for it.

And then he’s aware of a presence next to him, huge and regretful, and he turns, recognizing the face. Fuck. He turns away, crumpling into a ball against a wall that wasn’t there when he stumbled and fell, berating himself. Fucking got himself done for did he? Fucking lying like a drunk at St. Peter’s Gates, and doesn’t want to be here. He can’t leave Dean, the job isn’t done, his entire life has been worthless, and he hates himself passionately, can’t do anything but fold up and cry bitterly.

_Not worthless, my son._

He denies it with every fiber of his being, every truth that’s in him has been broken, and nothing will ever be all right again.

 _There’s someone here for you, hasn’t seen you in a long time._

His mother. He doesn’t even think twice about her, his thoughts fixed on his brother and Dad, and rejecting the being that’s sitting with him trying to be comforting. 

The pain is incredible, he can’t breathe, and his back is killing him, and then he feels the warmth next to him jerk.

Then there's a new presence, and more reaction around him.

_“You are forbidden here.”_

“Not as a messenger,” the silky, seductive voice comes. “He’s coming back with me, the deal is done.”

_“You can’t do this.”_

“Oh, I can,” the new voice says. “Look at him. He’s still in pain, you fool, you know that’s not allowed. He’s coming back, job’s not done yet. Other boy’s a fool, but there it is.”

The voice is fierce. There’s no way to stop it, but I can do this for you- you won’t remember…

There’s a feeling of warmth on his back, and then there’s nothing again.

***

Dean drives slowly back to Sam, weight of his actions heavy upon him, mind reeling with the peculiar deal he’s made. No trying to get out of it, nothing about the fact that Sam’s gonna spend night and day –not to mention Dad... His heart is aching, but not as bad as it was before, and for the second time he tumbles out of the car, scooping Sam into his arms. The puddle of blood on the ground is smaller now, like the wound clotted in time, instead of bleeding out in minutes, it’s not Sam’s lifeblood staining the earth around them, just a sacrifice, one they’ve all given before in a hunt to take the bad guys down.

Sam’s eyes flutter awake, and it’s Dean. And then the lies begin.

He’s surprised when Bobby lets the lie ride – god, it doesn’t seem enough to call it that, it’s bigger than a lie, but Dean doesn’t have a word for it, and this isn’t something he can ask Sammy for. And he’s nervous like a cat when Ellen softly taps on the door, looking footworn and weary, but she’s alive, and it’s too much for him to process, so he does what he always does, focuses on the hunt. On the map that Ellen brings with her.

There is no time for thought, really, the only thing he does is reassure himself of Sam’s presence, remind both of them that this is it, that they’ll have Dad back, because wouldn’t Sam know if John were dead? He tries not to let his brother see him wincing at the word, glad Bobby’s not around.

And all too soon they’re engaged in the fight, and he’s trying to keep Sam safe from that fucking Jake again, but Sam’s firing, accurate and deadly, and Jake’s falling, and Dean’s first impulse is to protect that damn Colt, removing it from the door. And then Hell opens up. Dean staggers back, but his brother and their friends, they’re quicker, and Dean wonders where his reactions are, wonders if he’s burned out, done as a hunter, and he’s worried about that, and then for what seems like another occurrence in a million miles of such impossible things things, he loses the Colt to the fucking demon, goes flying back against a headstone in the cemetery, stunned.

***

Missouri watches anxiously as John flatlines. They’d gotten yesterday’s heart attack stopped in time, and John was too full of drugs to put up much of a fuss, and she didn’t want to worry him, the boys weren’t answering their phones. And then she sinks to her knees, as she sees his spirit fly up and out of his body, giving her a cursory glance as it goes.

_John’s not appreciative of the circumstances, and God owes him more than this. But Sam’s distress is like a beacon to him, and he sees his eldest son go flying like a rag doll – again, and then, he sees the Demon. John grins to himself, deadly and smooth, and when it has the audacity to threaten his baby boy, he makes for it, tackles the fucker, and God have mercy, takes it right the fuck out of the body it’s stolen, even if it is just for a moment. His older boy makes good on the opportunity, firing the Colt’s last bullet just as the fucker slips back inside it's meat suit, and then, it’s dead, the demon is dead, oh my god, it’s dead. John’s stunned, and then feels the pull, hears Mary’s voice calling for him, and he doesn’t have the ability to resist, stolen away from his sons again, before he’s ready._

The sound of screeching is heavy in his ears, and he opens his eyes briefly to the hospital, hears Missy pleading with him, but there’s the warmth of the light, and Mary’s calling. He’s tired and confused, and he gives himself over to the easiest sensation, for the first time in his life.

And then she’s before him, his Mary. _“You don’t have much time,”_ she says. _“But you need to know something.”_

“The boys-“

_“You don’t have to leave them if you don’t want to, Johnny. They need you.” She hesitates. “Especially Dean. Did you not teach him any sense of wrong and right?” She seems to sense John’s confusion, and moves closer, her hand laying on his scruffy cheek, he never does remember to shave unless someone prods him into it, even all these years later. “Never mind that. You, you go back, John, you need to move on. Take that pretty woman you've been seeing to the church, do right by her, maybe.”_

“But Mary-“

_“Don’t you argue with me, Jonathan Winchester! I love you, and I will always love you, and someday,” her voice chokes, and John thinks to himself that angels shouldn’t cry. “Someday, we’ll be back together – but it’s a little different, past the Gates, John. God won’t thank you for shutting love and caring out of your life, and He knows, I know, that woman has the strength to help you finish raising those boys the right way, because there’s more for all of you than you’ve been letting yourselves admit.”_

John’s starting to feel intense pain, but he doesn’t want to let go of her. She silences his attempt to speak. _“I love you. Go prove to me just how capable of love you are, let yourself love again, and someday when it’s time, I’ll see you again. Don’t you dare come back here, until it’s properly time, you’ve got work to do.”_

She sounds just the same as she always did, trying to get him out of bed after they’d been up all night rocking the baby. He murmurs and I love you, kisses her without thought, and then he feels something slip, and she’s gone, he’s back in the room with the screaming monitors, only they’re not screaming any more, and the face of the – doctor, right? Is looking into his with a smile.

“Mr. Winchester? Stick with us this time, all right? You’re scaring your friend there.” And he can see Missouri, the tracks of tears staining her pretty face, holds a hand out to her. 

“Missy,” he says, and his voice is all gravel, it hurts to talk.

And when she takes his hand, they’re both solid, and he’s here to stay, and that’s all they say to one another, looking at each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Soundtrack: Etta James - All I Could Do Is Cry


End file.
